April 06, 2006
The Craigslist Shuffle
I love St. Louis Craigslist. Flat out, no questions, done deal love it. I’ve hired ace employees from it and sold my Cabbage Patch doll collection on it. An aside to you freaks around town who post your photos in the adult section- I check that out too, I recognize you and now I know some of your, um, peccadilloes. Gross.
Until last night, I’d never purchased anything from Craigslist but felt what I can only describe as mania when I spotted the exact twin loft bed and desk combination I’ve been eyeing at the local furniture store for months. It was less than half price and the seller listed the flaws as “some crayon marks on the desk top.” I could actually feel a pulse hammering away at the side of my neck and ran to the supply cabinet to make certain there was a full box of Magic Erasers on hand. With flying fingers I typed, I’ll take it! I’ll take it!
I stumbled my way through downtown Lemay, slapped 2 Bens in the seller’s hand and loaded the components with a strength and speed I didn’t know my body possessed. All in the literal and figurative dark.
Only after unloading it at home in the light of the living room did I notice the marker. Crayons on the desktop, yes – but also marker all over the frame of the bed. Efforts with the aforementioned Magic Eraser were futile and a desperate attempt to work in some WD-40 yielded even less a result. It wasn’t a twin. It was full-sized and rendered the mattress to be used obsolete.
Perhaps this is an opportunity. Maybe I should paint it like the Venice Café van or in Tom Dykas truck style. What if I could find an image of Mother Theresa in the scuffmarks left behind by some steel wool and elbow grease and then sell the relic to some poor sucker on Craigslist?
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.